The heart still bleeds
The week's been well...I don't know how to explain it. I've been a big fat slacker. I can't seem to get any work done. This is so...freaking bad. I've got 10 weeks to my darn prelims and erm...13-14weeks more to my majors. What am I doing...still slacking my ass off! &*%^#
So peeps has been asking me how's everything. Well..my answer...I'm currently still alive and kicking as I just let the days pass by. I've lost that thing about aiming ahead and looking forward to the future. It's just too scary. I may die tmr, I may lose someone tmr, I may fall tmr. Well..no one knows what's going to happen to me tmr. I've experienced way too much shit this year. No more looking forward for me. I'm just going to live each day as it is. Leave it to the big man. I don't wanna go through anymore shit. Having to lose someone I love so dearly already kills. I'm just not gonna take anymore risk.
The pass few days has been days of name calling. I've been called a dope, a fool and so on. Yes I know I've been one lately. But I can't help it. It's only right for me to keep the promise right? Oh well...I may be at the losing end, but then again, I'm keeping a promise and not breaking it. I lose one thing, ok fine maybe 2, but at least I gain back one. So...I'm still the loser. But who cares eh? That's life! Life's a Bitch.
Enough about my rubbish. I'm moving out of my current homestay. No more chickens, no more cha siew. Great...life's getting a lil better. Just a lil better. Just 3 months and 25 days left. That's the only thing I look forward to now. What happens within today and then...well that's another story which I would just take in. I've stopped planning for my future.
Feline: Yes...just a few more months and i'll be back to s'pore. i love you too.
Sam Fern: Thanks for the msg. Yes...i know u peeps will always be here for me and i'm thankful for that. i've become a toufu and i'm proud of it. Like what dern told me...Emotional=strong feelings. We can't help it can we? some pple just take us for granted. oh well...take care love. -hugs-
Candice: haha...yes...everyone's counting down for me. cool! see ya less than 4 months
Jia: I'm loving you to bits too. here's a bigggg smile for you (:
Sam Chu: I look forward to s'pore connection. no wait...i'm moving out! so maybe the new connection over at the new homestay would be better. oh well...nothing beats home! love ya to bits too! -hugs-
"i like the way you wanted me
every night for so long baby
i like the way you needed me
every time things got rocky
i was believing in you
was i mistaken
do you say do you say what you mean
i want our love to last forever
but i'd rather you be mean than love and LIE
i'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
i'd rather take a blow at least then i would know
but baby don't you break my heart slow
i like the way you'd hold me
every night for so long baby
and i like the way you'd say my name
in the middle of the night
while you were sleeping
i was believing in you
was i mistaken
do you mean do you mean what you say
when you say our love could last forever
but i'd rather you be mean than love and LIE
i'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
i'd rather take a blow at least then i would know
but baby don't you break my heart slow
you would run around and lead me on forever
while i wait at home still thinking that we're together
i wanted our love to last forever
i was believing in you
i'd rather you be mean than love and LIE
i'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
i'd rather take a blow at least then i would know
but baby don't you break my heart slow"
CRYSTAL GABRIELLE ALEXIS KOH
4th feb'88
11 years of ij, murdoch college(Perth)