can time heal all wounds?
So the week's been bad. Yes it sure has. Well...it's the 11th today. What's my mood today? I don't know. That's how bad the week has been. People come online, ask me the same old question..."hey crystal..how have u been?" and I answer..."I'm fine...I guess?" That's how sucky my week has been. I can hardly know what I'm feeling these days. I'm happy for a moment, sad for another, angry for another, pissed, depressed. All in one day. Insane? Yes I know it's insane. Hormones's gone nuts. Mood swinging like no one's business, why? Because I've haven't had my freaking period ever since I came here! Argh...darn Aus.
Ever since I came here, I've been getting injured in funny places. First, it was my fingers, or rather my 2 thumbs, I injured it as I was closing my locker and as I was closing the door. Now the nail's practically dead I think. It's in a horrible ugly colour state. Then...I hit my toes, then I got sun burnt in summer, then I got cut on the back of my hands, thanks to the brick walls. And just a few days ago, I got cut by the hanger. Blood flowed like no one's business. It's on my index finger. It's deep, but who cares eh? It now looks disgusting. I can tell that it's deep and hmm...it looks like it needs stitching up. But oh well...it's not bleeding anymore. So who cares! Oh and last night, some bloody insect or hell knows what bit my toes! Darm itchy! Now my toes are like lumpy? As in red spots here and there. My gosh...I think I've got some skin disease of some sought. Sheesh! Oh and one more...I've got rashes on my face! My Face! bloody hell! Itch like hell, but I'm controlling myself from scracthing. Sighs...That's how much I hate Auss! Since I'm so freaking bored, i'll put up pics for you peeps to see. Roar!
the rash, disgusting eh?
the nasty cut done by the hanger
do u see the bums? yucks!
my disgusting right thumb. I told u it was dead. It's been like that for 3 months?
Anw...like I said..it's the 11th. I don't know how to feel. I'm going to end here. I don't know what to say. I just don't have the mood to do anything.
To Dern, Sam, Tsib, Jia, Candice and Vanessa...Thanks so much for encouraging words. I'll put through eventually. So thanks so much for everything. (: I'm fine...you see... I'm smiling.
"my heart is slowly aching
can't seem to figure out why
could it be that finally
your love for me has died
you told me that it couldn't
you told me you'd always be there
but with so much temptation without me
i don't think your heart's fully prepared
to tie down with just one person
to say you're playing days are through
i try not to think this, but i wonder
am i wasting my time on you
i cannot live without you
thoughts of this make me cry
when thinking of problems we've had before
i can do nothing but sigh
last time we spoke in October
i felt some change, but you seemed fine
as we parted from the phone
i got no "i love you" just a "goodbye"
so until the next time i see you
or until the next time we talk
my heart will be aching and wondering
do you still love me, or want to walk"
CRYSTAL GABRIELLE ALEXIS KOH
4th feb'88
11 years of ij, murdoch college(Perth)
